Moncton Doula Care

Posted By Earthama on June 15, 2009

Sacred Birth Journey
Asaya Shai
2/26/06
9:51 PM

I am now the Mother to six beautiful souls….three daughters and three sons. I have learned that each soul coming into this world has divine timing and a divine way of entering. Each journey seems to have its own lessons for us and this one was certainly no different.

I conceived this child in June 2005 and it was at a time in my life where I was going through transition myself and I couldn’t help but wonder why now…yet, in my heart I knew. The man that fathered this child and I were not married or partners for any length of time. This would be a journey that I would take as a single mother…yet I chose to honor this life that lived within me. For each person and their situation it is different but after much contemplation I knew that this child was entering my life for many reasons and I chose to honor that.

The first few months I dealt with the usual nausea and traveled to what would be my new home for a period of time. Along the way I made sure my tummy was filled with something to keep the nausea away as much as possible. For the months ahead I continued to nurture my body with nourishing whole vegetarian foods, pure water, herbs, spending time in Nature, walking, reading, rest and whatever my heart guided me towards at the time it was needed. Sometimes this meant creating birth art or writing, meditating and yoga.

I had a choice to make as to how this Baby would be birthed. I have always wanted an Earth birth…to birth outside but since all of my babies have been born from January to April the weather has never been appropriate for that. So, this would be another homebirth. I made a choice to have a freebirth with myself and one person present. This decision was made after communication with the Baby as well and having no definite expectations as things can always change.

My intention was to birth in my bedroom floor on all fours over the yoga ball. (which is how I had birthed my last child) So, that was what I would focus on the whole time…seeing myself in this particular place with candlelight and drum music playing softly as I chanted my way through birthing this child. My birth Partner would be there to support me in whatever way I chose.

The pregnancy was perfect and there were a couple “tests” for me along the way. Without getting into details, there was normal “fear” stuff that people would try to throw at me. I chose to look at this whole experience from a place of love and not fear and would not surround myself with anything or anyone that was coming in the energy of fear. I was true to myself and followed my heart and it was an empowering experience beyond what words can express.

Even though I don’t really believe in “due dates” they can be used as a guideline. So, looking at it from this perspective mine was supposed to be Feb. 23, 2006. The last couple of months before the birth I began preparing some things for Baby. Somebody passed some used baby clothes through another woman who gave those to me and a next door neighbor who had birthed twins had an extra infant carrier that she gave to me. I went to the thrift stores and consignment stores to gather a few things. There was a gift of some of my favorite cloth diapers…some like new Mother Ease and a beautiful batik sling. All that was needed for me and this child was there for us just when we needed it. And it never failed that there was always “someone” that would throw in a little extra something which helped me to know that we were being watched out for and being provided for in the most divine way. If only we will trust…all will be there AS we need it.

I chose Friday, Feb 3rd as my Blessingday. Normally this would be when a Blessingway ceremony would be held with a circle of very close friends to honor me as I journey onto the path of motherhood. But since I was in a place that I didn’t have many close friends it was celebrated in a different way.

The whole day was spent honoring myself and Baby in various ways. I created a birth necklace with beads that represented each of my children, the new Baby, myself and Spirit. Each bead was placed upon the necklace in a very deliberate way with prayers and blessings attached to each. I would wear this necklace over the weeks to come and it would be placed upon my birth altar to be present during the birth.

My tummy was henna tattooed with love. I was treated to and enjoyed a wonderful vegetarian Asian meal at a fine restaurant. I received a sacred drum CD and 2 beeswax candles to use during the birth. And I spent time talking with my birth Partner about what my hopes were for this birth….

Over the next few weeks I awaited the birth of this new soul. I continued my regular routine of waking every morning and starting my day with yoga and meditation and communication time with Baby in my peaceful sanctuary.

Watching out the window as the eagles soared above and the herons circled the house. There were days that I thought “this is the day” as I experienced contractions that felt pretty strong. I knew that Baby would come in his or her own time and that I would be as patient as possible.

Interesting that the herons have been present in my life since right before the conception of this child in various places and ways. And now they would circle above my home. The meaning of the heron has to do with patience as well as confidence…and building a bridge. Perhaps the heron is this child’s totem. And there is no doubt that the child has helped me to be more patient through this birth. Each child seems to have his or her own things that they help us to learn or remember about ourselves.

On the morning of Saturday, Feb. 25th I finally had to get out of bed at 5am as I was having the cramping with contractions and couldn’t lay comfortably. I went to the living room and slept in a chair on and off. At 8 am I continued with my morning yoga and then breakfast. I was really hungry but didn’t want to eat too much as it doesn’t usually stay down once I get into active labor.

I continued to have contractions and at 10:10 am I lost my mucous plug with the bloody show. At this point I felt that this Baby would be here within the next 24 hours. The contractions were consistent but varied in time throughout the afternoon. I started getting hungry around 2pm but was still feeling that I didn’t want too much in my tummy. I had a piece of veggie lasagna and by the time I got to the end was not able to finish because there was a hint of nausea coming on.

Over the next few hours I read and tried to rest….took a warm bath. Around 6pm I sat down to play a couple games of Scrabble. By this time the contractions were feeling stronger and more consistent. I asked for an empty yogurt container as I felt that it may be needed if I vomited…was feeling nausea more. I decided to watch a movie and suggested to my Partner that it was a good idea to first prepare the things that were needed in the bedroom for the birth. We took everything in and I explained how I would like it. I had a plastic paint drop cloth that would go down first and then under pads to be placed over that upon the floor. I brought a bowl in for the placenta and scissors (just in case they were needed as I was planning on a Lotus birth) and layed out some towels and things for Baby.

At 7:30pm I sat down to watch the movie and after 10 minutes decided that this wasn’t going to work. I told my Partner that I was going to have to go to the bathtub and to continue on with the movie. Feeling that it was time to light the beeswax candles I enjoyed a candlelit bath and warm water felt so good. Within 15 minutes the contractions were getting stronger and I began moaning. It was the deep moan….I knew this sound…remembered it well from previous births.

Throughout the day I had visualized that with each contraction I was opening like a lotus flower and opening for the Baby to enter. As I lay in the tub I spoke softly rubbing my tummy telling Baby that I was opening and to gently come down….breathing…breathing…peacefully.

There was much communication over the next hour. It was time to get out of the tub as I was getting uncomfortable and needed to change positions. I called for my Partner and said it’s time to prepare the things in the room…I am getting out of the tub now. By the time I got into the bedroom everything was prepared and the candles were lit. The drum CD was playing and I said will you turn that music off….all I want to hear is the rain falling and the peace and quiet. (This was a CD that had been chosen by me just for the birth)

I braced myself against the wall with a strong contraction and then braced myself again against the window. The heater was below the window and it was making me feel hot…I said that’s a silly place for a heater…and was going to open the window. But then my Partner asked if I wanted the yoga ball. I said it seems that I have a tendency to want to stay standing.

Within two minutes I was on my knees with chest laying over the side of my platform bed asking for massage on the lower back. I had two contractions and said the head is coming down. I asked “can you see the head or anything happening?” My Partner said “I think it’s going to be awhile honey….I don’t see anything yet.” I said quite surprisingly “REALLY?….the head is coming in two more contractions it will be out.”

I had the deep moaning and chanting so knew that it would be soon. Sure enough on the next contraction the head was visible and then out on the next! The baby slowly came out and his hand was folded under his chin when his head appeared. Baby continued slowly next appearing was the chest and the down to hips…finally after the hips Baby was fully out! (All the other babies I have birthed came fast after the shoulders…patience…patience)

He was born at 9:51PM. I turned quickly over and kicked my leg over the Partners head and Baby was put directly into my arms as I heard “He’s a boy!” I welcomed the Baby and put him to the breast…He wasn’t ready. I tried a couple more times and he found his hands and started sucking both of them.

I was really hoping he would latch on so that I could get the placenta going. About 10 minutes after he went to the breast and has been there ever since…he knew exactly what that was all about. Within that time I passed something that I thought was the start of the placenta, but it wasn’t. I tried to get comfortable over the next hour and still no placenta. I was getting uncomfortable and couldn’t move far as the cord wasn’t real long. At an hour and 15 minutes I said I may have to cut the cord and forget the lotus birth because this is tricky for me…trying to squat over the bowl and trying different positions.

I went to cut the cord and Baby started to cry. I couldn’t do it. I said Baby I know…I’m sorry. Then said I will wait a bit more. Ten more minutes I waited and then talked with the Baby explaining why I had to cut the cord. He didn’t cry this time. He was content. I then squatted over the bowl in a complete squat and out came the placenta. Ahh…it felt so much better! I inspected it and it seemed intact.

After cleaning up I wrapped Baby in a towel, devoured some apricots and grapes then put him in bed with me and went to sleep for the night. Of course after all the excitement who could really sleep.

The next day the placenta was blessed and buried under an ancient Grandmother Cedar which was actually the spot I would have birthed outdoors had the weather been appropriate. During the pregnancy I had one name that kept coming to me and it continued to be with me.

So the name for this new soul is Asaya Shai. Asaya means healer and God’s creation. The meaning of Shai is gift or present. We have been enjoying our baby moon and will continue in the weeks ahead. His cord fell off today (the 6th day.)

He is peaceful and beautiful. And Asaya is a healer as I already have experienced so much more healing myself through this pregnancy and birth than I can express.

I chose the perfect person to experience this with as there was no judgement towards me for my choices. Sometimes following your heart can be a bit of a challenge as there always seems to be those who judge us and point fingers at us. But truly it is an empowering experience to listen and to trust regardless of what society thinks. For those of us who do things a bit differently than “normal”….may the blessings be.

Category: Birth Stories
Tags: birth experience, birth story, child birth, conscious choice, doula, doulas in canada, free birth, homebirth, natural childbirth, Natural Pregnancy, nature, personal choice, postpartum period, pregnancy birth, sacred birth, spiritual birth, transition, unassisted birth, wise woman, women giving birth